Words on Self Love and Mind Body Medicine

March 19, 2019 5:47 pm

Hello my loves,

Today, I want to check in with you all to say hello and share a bit about how my year has started off. But before I dive in to what has been happening, I want to let you know that I am typing these words from the lounge of my health club, with a pot of tea to my left, Lucie Silvas playing in my headphones, and perhaps the best part … I’ve just been for a gentle swim and sauna.

I’ve dreamed about being able to do this for such a long time. A morning swim followed by a little bit of writing with a pot of tea. But despite my absolute best intentions, my body has always had other plans which has meant it just hasn’t been possible. Therefore as I’m sure you can imagine, when moments like this do happen … they feel kind of magical.

I guess this is one of the silver linings of living with Chronic Illness, the glimpses of better days or moments of normality when they do arrive and how beautifully freeing they feel.  The moments that so many others take for granted.

This year got off to a bit of a bumpy start for me as I caught a flu virus over the Christmas period which wiped me out and lingered on well into the month of January. As I’m sure any of you with M.E / CFS will also experience, a virus that affects someone else for 4 or 5 days, often wipes me out for around three weeks or more. I did my best to surrender whilst my body did its thing and I eventually healed from it and got back to ‘my normal level’. Only to then come down with Bronchitis mid February which took another month off my calendar.

Despite the two lurgy’s, over all, I feel life is actually much better than it has been in quite some time. The healing work I have been doing over the last two years is building a stronger foundation for me. (I write about my current healing protocols in this post) The weeks in between viruses have felt that bit better.  I’ve been able to get out and about a little and the days where I have needed complete rest have felt more nourishing. I feel more rooted and in touch with myself not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually too.

It has taken a long time to reach this point. I have spent much of my life pushing myself hard, resisting the present moment, disconnected from my body and heart. A fierce inner critic and perfectionist part of me ever present. The breakdown of my physical and mental health in 2010 forced me to face so much. I have spent the years since then immersed in self discovery through meditation, reading, learning, intensive therapy and so much more. Its an ongoing journey isn’t it, this unravelling and peeling back the layers thing. But as long as we keep going, and stay open to things shifting, there comes a day when we can reflect and think ‘things are actually so different now.’

Life is still very restricted for me, I need my afternoon sleep daily. I often have to go to bed for the night by 8pm. There are still many days where I need complete rest and can’t do much at all. Symptoms are ever present and chronic fatigue is not yet a thing of the past. As I previously mentioned, when I catch a virus or infection, it floors me for quite some time. But… I still feel a subtle, yet definite, shift.

During the poorlier weeks I experience less resistance and fear, more surrender and peace. I can see the bigger picture more easily rather than getting gobbled up entirely by the intense feelings of a single moment.

The better weeks feel, well, just beautiful. They aren’t perfect.  But they are enough. Enough for me to feel I can live a little.

I feel self love has had a big part to play in this, alongside the things I am doing physically to support my healing. But the inner shifts have been powerful. Giving myself less of a hard time. Showing myself copious of amounts of love during the super poorly weeks, rather than beating up on myself or cursing my body. Acknowledging feelings in all of their dark and all of their light, instead of pushing down or rejecting the sadness/anxiety/anger and only embracing happiness/joy/peace. It has taken time to reach a place where I can treat myself gently and with love.

Feelings often need space to move through us so they can be released. Ive learned this so deeply in recent months and it has proven to be life changing for me to honour myself in this way. To give myself the space to feel.

The light and the dark.

If you find yourself instinctively knowing that you don’t treat yourself too kindly, be it through pushing yourself too hard, expecting way too much or indulging in too much negative self talk, know that awareness is the first step to changing this. Go gently. Work on just changing small things, maybe begin by noticing the kinds of words you say to yourself. It really can have a ripple effect on so many areas of your life, especially when it comes to healing. 

The other thing I have been revisiting since the end of 2018 is the work of Joe Dispenza, Lissa Rankin and many others in the field of Mind – Body healing. I have spent time re-familiarising myself with the modalities in this arena, as well as stories of those who have healed from things previously said to be incurable. Amazing stories that help to build the belief that healing is possible and that the body naturally wants to be well.

After my relapse in 2010, I have been through a phase (a long phase!) where I felt a block towards these theories and ways of thinking. Despite knowing so much about them through years of study, and the profound effect these modalities had on my initial healing back in my early twenties, they also had a devastating downside for me.

I used ‘positive thinking’ and NLP to deny the fact I was getting unwell again many years ago, to push away symptoms and ‘push through’. I disconnected from any feelings that I labelled as ‘bad’. I ended up relapsing so severely because ultimately I ignored messages from my body. This experience and the trauma of all that period of my life entailed lead to an adversion to brain retraining techniques and lots of mind – body stuff for so many years since, because of the unhealthy way in which I used them before.

I guess I have been protective of myself, especially because many of my most powerful healing shifts for me since then have come from learning to live from a place of connection to my heart and body.

However, from where I stand now, I finally see that when approached from a place of love and self compassion, visualising wellness or being mindful of what you tell yourself each day is SO important when it comes to healing. Using your mind to assist your healing, to raise your vibration and build your beliefs is a gift. We just have to make sure it is done in a way that feels grounded and right for us.

So I am gently exploring this area once again, with self compassion at it’s core. And it feels good. It feels empowering to have the trust to visualise my future with an open mind and heart, allowing the idea of healing to be absolutely possible, no matter how many years I may have been unwell.

So, that is where I am at. My latest learnings and discoveries and a little update from my world. I hope you are all doing as well as can be. For any of you who would like to look further into the things I have mentioned in this post, I shall share a few links and resources in the ‘notes’ section below.


Emma x



For Self Love and learning to Accept and Surrender


The Work of Dr Kim D’Eramo



One of my favourite books on Self Compassion

The Mindful Path to Self Compassion by Chris Germer 


A classic that everyone should read

The Power of Now by Echart Tolle 


The Mind Body Connection 

The following people have some amazing talks on youtube plus some incredible books. Have a search for their work.


Dr Joe Dispenza

Dr Lissa Rankin

Dr Bruce Lipton

Dr David Hamilton

Deepak Chopra

Deb Shapiro


For any of you who have Netflix, there is a documentary on there called ‘HEAL’ which features many of the people above sharing some great knowledge, as well as documenting stories of people who have had incredible recoveries from all kinds of illnesses. It is inspiring, uplifting and well worth a watch.


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  • Teresa Hobbs says:

    Hi Emma, I can very much relate to this post. I have the same itchiness around the mind over matter stuff as well. My mom and two therapist aunts have put a lot of pressure on me from that aspect. They all believe that I’m blocking healing because I’m getting something out of being sick and that I feel this must be a good thing because I don’t have to work. I’ve had to be open to the Mindbody stuff in order to prove that I’m not unwilling to go there. But in the process, I’ve discovered that it’s all about the mind, spirit and HEART just as you describe in your blog.

    I’ve been learning to go deeper into myself and to learn how to be gentle and compassionate with me first. And to practice surrendering into a deeper trust in all that is, not necessarily all that I think it should be. There’s that fine line between setting your mind to a channel that’s open for something more and letting the universe decide how and when that’s going to show up for you. So many of the old mind over matter processes are about taking you out of the present moment and trying to convince yourself that the future IS your present moment. I find that limiting and bypassing of our NOW experience which is happening for a reason. It feels so much more natural to reckon with that and to fully witness all that has been wanting our attention for so long. I think this is often what has been wanting to be healed within us all along.

    Thanks for sharing about this. I’m so glad that you have experienced these beautiful shifts and are exactly where you are. You are in a very powerful and resilient space within yourself. It’s really beautiful to see that.


    • Emma ~ Consciously Healthy says:

      Hi Teresa,

      So lovely to hear from you!

      I think you and I have walked parallel paths in many ways haven’t we. We are both so aware of the power of the mind, and the logic behind those theories, however for both you and I we have had to take a deeper journey for our healing.

      When you said ‘it’s all about the mind, spirit and HEART’ in your reply, it resonated so much. It’s so true.

      Like you, I’ve had to learn to connect to my hearts wisdom, and enter this place of love for myself and respect for my body, before any other sort of process or healing protocol can be truly effective.

      That’s why I love Dr Kim’s work. It helps connect us to back to ourselves doesn’t it, our essence. Healing can THEN come from within. As opposed to searching externally, placing our power elsewhere or blocking off from what is actually going on inside us with various tools, techniques or processes.

      Just to clarify, I feel the Mind Body stuff is so important. Fundamental to healing in fact. But what I don’t agree with is using ‘positive thinking’ or ‘mind over matter’ to reject what is actually going on within us.

      When we can integrate various healing modalities from a place of grounded connection, I think amazing things can happen.

      Sending you so much love and a hug. Thank you for being here!

      Emma x

  • Katie Angelique says:

    Ahh Emma I totally get what you’re saying here about the ‘positive thinking’/NLP. I did the lightning process a few years ago & almost developed a fear of thinking/feeling/saying anything ‘negative’. But it caused a lot of relationship problems because people thought I was much more well than I was. I ran on adrenaline like you & when I collapsed I think I went the other way & refused any of that type of thing, for fear of the same happening & just let myself be natural for a while. I am at the same place as you, going back to OHC & trying to create a balance between these two approaches & knowing when to choose each one is a skill isn’t it? X

    • Emma ~ Consciously Healthy says:

      Hi Katie!

      Sadly your experience is all to common. When used with tons of self compassion and a true connection to our body’s, LP and other retraining techniques can be so deeply healing… but when used as we did in the past, they can be so damaging.

      So sorry you too experience the latter.

      Sounds like we are in a similar place Katie, revisiting but with deeper self awareness this time. Hopefully we will find our balance in this ☺️

      Sending you so much love.

      Emma xx

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